About Emily Hayes

For more than ten years, Emily has sat across from people in the middle of their hardest conversations. Partners who have stopped talking about sex. Individuals who feel disconnected from their own bodies. Couples who love each other deeply but cannot find their way back to each other in bed.

What stayed with her is that almost none of them were broken. Most had simply never been taught how intimacy works. Many believed a drop in desire meant something was wrong with them or with their relationship, when the truth was more ordinary and more hopeful: their lives were full, their stress was high, and nobody had ever explained how those forces shape desire.

She is a mother of three, so she knows how easily intimacy gets pushed to the bottom of a busy list. School runs, deadlines, bills and exhausted evenings all compete for the same limited energy. Her work is built for real lives like that, not idealized ones.

She is also careful about what a book can do. She draws on published research, says where the evidence is strong and where experts still disagree, and points readers toward doctors and therapists when they need more than a page can offer. As she puts it, intimacy grows through noticing.

Based in

New York

Focus

Intimacy, desire, sexual health

Experience

10+ years